Monday, January 30, 2012

I get by with a little help from my friends

As a mother I have days when I feel like I'm failing my children miserably.  Last week was one of those times.  During the week I had spent time with the school councilor, Hubby and I had been racking our brains, we have tried rewards and punishments and nothing seems to be working.  Then the straw that broke the camel's back happened just as I'm about to leave for a sew in with the Modern Quilt Guild one of my children decided that a battle over their Saturday responsibilities was necessary.  They wanted to hang out with friends and do their responsibilities later.  Which I have found never works.  So said child was told no.  And a tantrum in sued, my hubby and I were told how horrid we are,  how unfair, resulting in more bad consequences for this child.  I was terribly late for the sew in and was about to bag it.  But hubby said I should go.  Yes I have a very good hubby.  So I went.  I got a few more of these blocks made.
But more importantly I spent time with friend, who cheered me, let me know what was going on happens with them, and that I am not a failure as a mother.  Thank goodness for sew ins with good friends.

11 comments:

  1. My mother used to tell me that you have to have very high self esteem to get through the teenage years.
    Your children are very fortunate to have 2 parents WHO CARE, and who work together. And, how wonderful that your husband encouraged you to attend your quilting event.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Been there and done that and am so glad to let you know that things will get sooooo much better. Then you get to chuckle when they are going through the same things! Hang in there, Em. You know you are doing it through love and they will someday understand that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It may cheer you to know that 20-25 years from now, your kids will be going through exactly the same arguments with their kids and wondering how you ever let them live through their teenage years! I can't tell you how many times my dad just started laughing uproariously when I called to tell him what my daughter had done to me that day!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sometimes it is possible to just hold steady and be strong. You don't always have to "do something" about problems. It sounds like you are being loving, steady and reliable. Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My sister and I used to call our mom the WORST insult we could think of when we didn't want to do something: a wicked step-mother. She'd just say, "yes, I'm a wicked step-mother and you still have to do the dishes, and now you get to mop the floors, too."

    ReplyDelete
  6. I watch my son now a parent, with his 3 year old and realise there is justice!
    his turn has come lolol keep the faith gal!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm glad you went to the sew in. Kids don't quite know how to express disappointment other than lashing out, ya just gotta ignore it, stand firm to the no and go sew!! And like everyone else says, someday the world will look a little different to them :) Great blocks. I am so in love with gray right now and yours look fabulous!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Being a mum is hard work...you don't see reward for your labor [no pun intended] for many years! I'm glad you got to go, what a great hubby!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Every parent out here knows what you're going through. The good news is that it does eventually pass and before you know it you have lovely young adults. Glad you still went quilting... it's truly a sanity saver!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Don't beat yourself up, your not failing your kids. That's what kids are do. Some learn lessons the easy way early on and some the difficult way. Good for you going to your quilting and lucky you having a husband like you do. I have a husband like that too, which can make all this a bit easier.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Isn't it interesting that we always take the blame for these situations? We never say the child is a "failure", only that we are. Children are in a constant struggle to figure out who they are, who they're going to be, and where the boundaries are. Some struggle more than others. Stay firm and consistent, and you'll all be fine on the other side of these years. =)

    I love your blocks. That white strip on each side really makes such a lovely defining statement. The colors in the center are very cheerful - sort of a sunshine and shadow block, updated!

    ReplyDelete